I don't usually tell people I write. I have an unstable relationship with writing, especially when writing an article like this. They usually have no purpose and the titles feel more like click bait rather than the actual thought I am trying to present. Rest-assured, I am going to tell you how to make edibles, but this article is not about that. I think it captures an unusual mannerism I portray in my existence. I’m usually very raw when writing these and though I hide my strength behind the idea that no one actually reads this, it's always nice to know that there are a few weirdos out there who enjoy a piece of work that makes no real sense. So here’s how I make an edible cake (if you want just the recipe - read only * or go to google)
* Things you actually need:
- General motivation or motivation to get high. Either works fine
- A ready to go cake mix. You can try making it from scratch but its cake! Not much can go wrong.
- A little weed.
- 2 hours
- Condensed milk - really important. In the end this is all your going to taste anyways.
- butter / oil. Preferably butter.
Act 1
I wake up from my bed naked and stroll to my living room. I find a half smoked joint waiting for me. I look at the joint, I look at my Buddha sitting on the table and I know I need to meditate first. So I sit down, put a timer for 20 minutes and meditate. I usually start by thanking, not anyone or anything but just to put it out there. Next I ask the Buddha for wisdom and strength to act on that wisdom. When I am done meditating, I light my joint. I can make breakfast but I am already too stoned to cook, so I decide to make tea. But I can’t go naked into my kitchen, so I go back to the bedroom, put some music and grab my kimono. As I’m making tea
* I take a big pot and fill it half with water. Then I put the pot on the stove over a medium burn. Next, I take a tiny steel cup and put a little butter in it - half a slab and thrown the weed in the butter. At this point it’s just poetry because I have done this so many times that I don't really have any disturbances, just me in my zone. The weed needs to be good for two joints.( Now better written articles might say, you should clean the weed but it really doesn't matter) leave the steel cup in the pot, so that it floats in the water like a boat and cover the pot. Then I put a timer for 45 minutes. The longer you let it stay, the more potent your cannabis butter will be. So I leave it in the pot for an hour and a half but since I’m energy conservative, I only let the stove stay on for about 45.
I may be feeling the pressure for productivity right about in the next 20 minutes as the day has just started. A feel that maybe today I shouldn't just let my day slide by. But it's just one of those lonely days and that's okay! Fades away the memory from here.
Act 2
If the one and a half hour passed and you still remember that you’re making a weed cake, congratulations! You’re doing it, you’re so close to cooking happiness! I usually forget and then stumbled into the kitchen only to be reminded by the pot, that- oh! I was making a weed cake!
* So I take a bowl, mix up the cake mix together, add the condensed milk in the mix and add the cannabis butter I cooked into it. Always strain out the weed from the butter! Condensed milk makes thing’s taste like heaven, so don't forget that. The next step would be to transfer the mix into another container that's been coated with butter and pop it in the oven or in a pressure cooker (with the whistle off) for about 30-40 minutes.
You can now chill and relax for the cake to be cooked and you my friend have done it! So what happens next? You eat the cake, cry because it tastes really good. Forget that its edible and eat half of it. But nothing happens.
Just an hour later you can’t feel your face or pick your hand up and that's okay. It’s just life and it be like that sometimes. Say hello to the butterflies in your stomach and mind. Remember to be a good person and to share the other half of the cake - Kindness pays. Peace out
Thank you
*as I exit from the stage*
Here's what my friend Natheer thought of this piece:
So right from the start i landed on this article, and here’s what i am thinking while reading it
Do you really think that writing such things serves no purpose? While it is true the chance remains no one would read it, there still remains the idea that it is your own thoughts and ideas being placed into a form other than just chemicals in brain, in a way it is an extension of you, and even now years later, it is still a point in time where a person lived and breathed while writing down those words.
On the part of the weirdos that enjoy reading what doesn’t make sense, i agree as i am such a weirdo who is spending his vacation day actually reading this and smiling at the same time.
Let me say that i love the fact that you actually painted quite the image in my head, i can imagine you looking at the half smoked joint with the buddha statue next to you and i wonder at what goes in your mind as you proceed to get high, and how do you beat the hunger when you are too high to cook
That line of thinking has come up to me many a times, where the pressure of productivity comes up and you have that internal battle waging on, to let this day pass or actually do something with your time, with the thought that it is just one day, and no matter what happens it shall too become a memory past.
For some reason I imagine you stumbling into the kitchen and remembering that you are baking a cake with a suddenly lit bulb over you in that AHA moment!!
I have to ask, pressure cooker? You can actually make cake with that?
Well if you ever wanted to have something come out from writing that particular page, let me tell you it came out that it made me hungry for a cake, and it’s rather unfortunate i don’t live alone to make it for myself, one day i will get the chance to experience that one day of edibles at a small apartment with the butterflies and good feelings
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