For Against: Travelling

The first time I travelled far, truly alone & unsupported, I must’ve been 16 or 17. It was a trip to the Andaman Islands. While for most this sounds like the start of the most exciting story ever, and for most parts, it is as well; for a young person like me - it was also quite horrifying. My first night alone at Port Blair was an absolute nightmare. There was nothing in particular, to be honest, I had had a nice day. Visited the city, the monumental jail & the show in the evening, and met some decent people. Did I mention that the trip was a gift from my parents for having scored well in the final examinations? Well, now you know. 

After a long & lovely day in the island capital, I came back to the hotel exhausted, exhausted enough to settle down for the night but not exhausted enough to sleep. For most of the night, I tried calling my boyfriend, now my ex. I couldn’t get through, for at this point the islands had a horrible connection. The entire night I watched some random show on TV & I just had an irrational fear. I don’t remember what the fear was but I was half awake the entire night, just in case something bad happened. I was paralyzed & this is a feeling I often feel while travelling, where I get paralyzed in the night if I am alone. I often wonder if it's a safety issue or if the night just lacks the positivity of the sun that we all need. That day I moved to another island but as I had not gotten enough sleep, I was just cranky. 

In my writing, my life & in everything I do, I’ve always promoted travelling & specifically - travelling alone. I always mention how when you travel alone, you have more time to give to yourself, your surroundings, and the people around you. I wonder if I ever mentioned how lonely travelling alone gets sometimes. How you almost isolate yourself from everyone in your life as they don’t travel & probably don’t get the life you live. It's almost ironic, even though you travel & meet amazing people, for me at least, there is a loneliness that I can’t kill, fathom or digest. I have met some wonderful people who, also, have been travellers. I do end up meeting them in a new location & talk to them online, but I don’t think that cuts your friendship quotes. 

If I got it right, I also usually don’t remember, Buddhist philosophy for inner peace is also against travelling. From what I’ve read, it's important to stay in one place & continue your practice. Nature is always recommended but the logic to my understanding is that to achieve true states of spirituality, travelling for pleasure & whim is nonsensical. You think you will discover yourself in these new places but like everything travelling is also a desire that needs to be curbed. There’s more to this of course, but they mock people who travel to find themselves. Though this might be a bit contradictory because pilgrimages, especially long pilgrimages are often encouraged. 

I released for the most part I haven’t made a point against travelling, just did a short rant on bad experiences in the Andamans & how lonely I feel. But a traveller's life is quite lonely, I don’t know if others also feel this. Also, I think it's important to see the agenda of the person travelling & take into context their lives & experiences. For me, travelling is all I’ve known in my life, it's my escape & my doom. I’ve always looked for my people & my community, but if I am not at home or peace in my heart, I won't be at peace anywhere I am. 

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything or anyone else. But there is, again, this deep loneliness that most travellers experience that is very hard to shake off.